Monday, December 26, 2011

Sorry, I've been on vacation. Here's the first story. It goes with the Prologue.

                                                                   Title Still Unknown (sorry)
                                                               Chapter 1: The Bonfire
         This was my favorite part of the day. When the sun is kissing the horizon. The sky was a mixture of orange,pink and purple. It never failed to take my breath away. The ocean looked out as far as I could see. My feet created ripples in the otherwise calm water. I ran my fingers through the crystal white sand beneath me and relished in the delicate feel. I call this place my private beach although it's obvious life has venture this slice of heaven. The only thing that ruined this blissful scene was the hideous plume of smoke that drifted in front of the setting sun. I let out an embarrassingly loud groan and stood to stretch my tight muscles. My mind was filled with reluctance and bitterness. Of course, he would choose a spot only a half-mile distance from my special spot. His party would be more important.
          Soon the smell of burning paper and ash filled my nose and made me feel dizzy. My brain finally cleared and I remembered. Last day of school. An invite in the mail. My own fire burning high with the ashes of the paper. I trudged to the site of the party, my previous mood vanished. The first thing I noticed was the fire. Instead of a crackling, inviting fire, I saw an ominous one. Its fiery arms reached out, trying to devour anything in range. The fire burned high and strong, emitting swirling tendrils of black smoke. The second thing that I noticed was that every eye at the party was trained on me. All conversation stops,all dancing is ceased, even the music is cut off. Each person wore a goofy smile before simultaneously they turned to continue what they were doing before I came. The only person who still hadn't acknowledged my presence was my best friend, Miami.
          I walked over to where she sat. She glanced at me, her unusual electric blue eyes sharp, before she smiled warmly and nudged me.
 "Hey Ally. Didn't think you would make it." She accused. I gave her an apologetic smile.
" Honestly, I didn't plan on it." I mumbled. She gave me an exasperated look then her gaze fixed on the party's host. Grant stood in the middle of the pulsating group of people. He had two beers in his hands and two girls dancing on him. He deserved to be in rehab rather than senior year in high school. You could here his drunken laughs and slurred words from my spot on the beach. Another one of his laughs rang out and I rolled my eyes, bu next to me Miami sighed dreamily. As the night wore on Miami got bolder, dancing on Grant and whispering things that made his eyes light up. Disgusting.
          I stood up to leave, making sure I don't leave anything. I stood up straight and turned to offer to take Miami home. She already had four of five beers, she shouldn't be driving. Miami was busy trying to win Grant's attention. Because it was trained right on me in a stunningly sober manner. I took an automatic step back, stumbling over the log. I scrambled up quickly and sprinted to my Private Beach. The feeling of being stalked was immediate and it hit me strong. Adrenaline pumped through my veins and I ran at speeds that would challenge an average school bus. When I got to my spot, my legs buckled underneath me and my lungs burned with every breath.
"Althea, get up." A voice demanded urgently. I glared into the ground and stayed stubbornly still. The voice,who I knew to be Grant, settled down next to me. I twitched into a sitting position while Grant looked steadily into the dark night. Again, I ran my fingers through the cool sand and tried to gain my breath.
"Is there a reason you followed me here? Don't you have a party to host?" I croaked
      His eyes flicked to mine and I caught the barest hint of a smile on his features before he turned away again and looked into the starry sky.
"I didn't know what was happening at first. I just had this feeling. A feeling something...something was going to happen. Something unnatural. You feel it don't you? Something different?" He breathed. I looked at him.
"Grant, your drunk talk has never been exactly inspiring." I laughed. I was proud that I kept a straight face for a full two seconds before my laughter filled the area, loud and tinkling. Grant jumped up, his expression is of forced patience. He forcibly grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. I started to protest but was cut of by his words.
"Really look at me, Ally. Do I look drunk? How about my smell? What is it of? You stroke me as a smarter  girl than that, Althea." He snapped
He was right of course. He smelled like fresh mountain air on a cool day. His eyes were clear and focused. I'm positive he had at least eight or nine bottles of beer.
"I don't need you,of all people, questioning my intelligence."I hissed, breaking out of his grip.
"Ally, your twisting my words. I know you-" He started, but I finally snapped. Who was this guy?
"First and foremost, you don't know anything about me Grant Ranter. You don't know-" My turn to be interrupted.
"I know your full name is Althea Marina Parker. I know that you are currently in your senior year, as of this afternoon. I know you have gray eyes that scares and attracts EVERYONE you meet. I know that you have been a straight A student since day one of school. Do you really need me to go into detail about what I know about you?" He shouted.
  I raised my hand to smack him in the face. Before I could hear the satisfying smack of skin on skin, his hand caught mine and his eyes bore into mine.
"Listen to me Althea." He begged.
I yanked my hand out of his grip and turned the opposite direction. In the thicket of trees ahead of me was a  small abandoned parking lot and that's where I set my sites. I sprinted with the remaining energy I still posses.                        Finally, before my legs gave away again I saw the fading red of my old Convertable. Flecks of paint had started chipping off, and it took longer than necessary to pull the top up but I loved the car to death. Grateful I  left the top open, I hopped the door and shoved the key into the ignition. I heard a strangled cry from the forests before I slammed by foot on the wheel. The sudden outburst of speed caused me to fishtail and I let off of the pedal before stepping on it again with much less force. Soon I was on a back-road leading to I-25.
       
           

6 comments:

  1. Any and all criticism is welcome and I appreciate comments. Thanks for reading. :D

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  2. Don't worry about not having a title yet, it will most likely come to you near the end. I absolutely LOVE the way you described the fire. You used a profuse amount of imagery and i liked that. You misspelled a couple of words though, I would have someone else read it aloud to you because we usually don't notice our own mistakes. While I was reading I completely forgot this was something you posted on a blog. I literally felt immense sadness that you only have chapter one done so far. Writers_Diary you HAVE to finish this story. I don't know your name but you need to get this book published. The world needs more climatic books and not all this teenage girl drama junk. I will be checking the bookshelves soon because already I can tell only an idiot would turn this down to be published.

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  3. Thank you SOOO much. I'm only in high school so I don't know about publishing this but I do want to be an author. I was up late last night writing so words were misspelled. I appreciate your support for my story.

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  4. You're welcome, you definately have author potential. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to post your stories.

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  5. It's no problem. I'm on break anyway so I have all day. I've already started Chapter 2

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